Day 9: The Inside Turmoil

Woke up at 11p.m today. Bathe, came online, going to the Immigration checkpoint authority and have a possible lunch with her. Messaged her the night before and this is what she replied back to me. "Good morning... I don't know if I'll be eating or not, cos I need to buy fruits ard my area. See how. And usually you always come late. So don't know if can eat with you or not? See how lo. K!"

I replied. "Haha. Same as you ma. I always come late and you always give excuses. I mean, how lame is buying fruits man?

She didnt reply after that.

Came online for a little while, then left the house at 1.50p.m to go to the Immigration checkpoint authority to collect my passport. Reach the place at 3.15p.m, collect my waiting pass and waited till 5.30p.m before my collection is done. Ridiculous. Well guess who I met? I met my Sister! Carolyn with her dad. She was waiting to get her passport done too. Its funny to be meeting her there. As it was already reaching 5 and I still wasnt done yet, what do I do? I messaged her again. This time asking her for dinner. I smsed her. "Doing anything after work?"

She replied. "Ya... Got plans to meet friends"

I answered. "Straight after work? Im still at the ICA and have not had lunch yet."

She said. "Oh... Why not.?

I answered. "Still waiting. Came at 3.15 and its not my turn yet. So what say you? Fish soup?"

She replied. "Cannot. I meeting them straight after work. Cos having dinner with them then go school."

She turned me down for 2 lunch and a dinner.

Thats alright.

Ended up coming back home for dinner. Tom Pang Carolyn's dad car, had a free ride home. I can't help asking myself. "Why do I bother, why do I bother to even ask her out for lunch at all? Why do I even try to win her back? Dude. She made it clear when she says she does not love you anymore. She said she wants to just be your friend. But hey, you know thats Bullshit. She doesn't want to be friends with you. She just wants you to piss off and stop bothering her. She is happy where she is now. No... She won't cry for you. She wont give a shit about you. Yea. Go die and she won't give a fuck about it. She hates you.

All these anger, confusion, furastration... I got to start working out again...

God where are you...