Day 5: Keeping Myself Busy

Woke up at 7.15 a.m today. Asked Hong Siong if he wanted to go have a run and he agreed to. We met at 7.30 a.m. We made our way to Bukit Timah Nature Reserves once again. However, this time, things were a little different.

We ran there.

Yes, no kidding, we ran to the Nature Reserves. The morning breeze felt cool, a little chilly but its a comfortable temperature with which to began the run. He took the lead and I followed his pace stopping once to rest at a bus shelter along the way. By the time the two of us reach the Reserves, my legs were burning and I was sweating like a dog. Thats alright though... good morning exercise!

Hong Siong is a crazy guy. He attempted to run up the steep slope and failed miserably. Ended walking up the rest of the way. Full marks for effort though. We then decided to take one of the forest path for additional exercise and I led the way because I was familiar with the forest tracks. Tracking with him is a different experience as is tracking with my mom or my brother. We moved through the paths really quickly. We were hoping to glance at some exotic wildlife but all we saw were monkeys. There wasn't much animals out to greet us, all sleeping probably. Only the really enthusiastic or the heartbroken wakes up this early to exercise... Correction: Only the really enthusiastic or the heartbroken or the heartbroken's pals wakes up this early to exercise. Hee hee.

Another thing about Hong Siong is that he talks a lot. As we are tracking along the path, we spoke about many things and everything! He told me about the ancient history of China and how they waged war on 8 different countries and ended up losing badly, having their royal palace burnt as a result. We spoke about Redang island in Malaysia and all that the place have to offer. From his description it seems like a really nice place to visit and I'll be sure to go there in a few more months. We spoke about the recent fugitive/terrorist/JI member that escaped from the internal security department in Singapore and is now hiding in Bukit Timah.

I reckon if there is one place to hide in Bukit Timah, it is going to be the Nature Reserve. Hence we try to keep as silent as we can from that moment on. Ah!!

We spoke about many other things including videos of executions, of terrorist slowly sharpening his butter knife using the head of an innocent person and the trauma it had on him as he watched the video when he was really young. We spoke about what a good basketballer should posses and how by doing certain routines, we can dramatically improve our game. Well it was nice to really chat/talk about something other then how me and WGLP broke up for once. =)

Had lunch at Bukit Timah Market and Food center, took bus 985 back home. *We cant run no more...

After bathing, came online like I usually do and got on with my Thai language speaking lesson. After today, there is going to be 47 more days left with which to learn Thai. I think Im settling in at a good pace now. Spoke with Oil today again and he was really helpful. He taught me all I needed to know and I learn a few new words today. One of them is buea --> Bored. Yea that is going to really apply for me.

Well went downstairs to workout at 6.45p.m. Today's game was ok. I think I have matured in my game and has become more consistent now. Fatigue set in at around 9.30p.m and I rested till 10p.m. I am going to give myself a break on Saturday. I am going to work out on Sunday to play badminton with my family. Cant wait to spend quality time with them. On Monday morning I will meet William for a work-out at Bukit Timah Nature Reserves at 8a.m. Then I will make my way down the the ICA to settle some passport issues. On Tuesday I will meet William again at 11pm. He is going to teach me some basic of drumming. Ah...

47 more days to learn Thai, 91 more days to learn Drums. Oh yea Bring It On!

After what I've been through. This song became really special so Im sharing it with yall!
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking Every breath with you oohhhh
You're the only one Who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me, is against the odds
And that's what I've got to faceeeee

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So Take a look at me now
Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is All I can do
And that's what I've got to face.

Take a good look at me now
'Cause l'll still be standing (standing here)
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take (chance I got to take, got to takeeee)

Yeahhhhh
Take A look at me now(Take A Look at me nowwwww)

Day 4: Inspiration from a Friend

Woke up at 8.30 a.m today feeling super lethargic. Mom wanted me to company her to Bukit Timah Nature Reserves and I was too tired to answer and ended up sleeping again. I think she was quite pissed.

Woke up at 9.00 a.m and nobody was home. Immediately gave a call to my mom to ask where she was. She told me she was in the van, halfway to the Nature Reserve and I told her to count me in on the trip. She made a U-turn back for me. I broke my record for the time it took to get out of bed and downstairs of my flat. It all happened in 300 seconds and between this time, I made my bed, brush my teeth and washed my faced, finished two bread and a cup of soy milk, got dress, wore my shoes and locked the door. -_-'

Today's trip was quite interesting. For the first time, we managed to spot a Mountain Turtle. The kind that lived on land all its life. The color of the shell is so perfectly camouflaged together with the fallen leaves that it is impossible to spot if it was not crossing the road. I have never seen a more beautiful turtle (Yea I know I sound like a loser). Oh and we also spotted a monitor lizard right beside the road. Its not the first time we spotted a monitor lizard at Bukit Timah, but it is the first time we see the lizard hunting for food in its natural habitat. It was climbing onto this fallen log, digging into it probably to find some yummy cockroaches and sticking its head into the log completely oblivion to the fact that there are 2 gawking adults right beside it. Ah Nature!

After the hike we went to have Lunch at the Bukit Timah market and food center. I had an interesting encounter with a Thai lady at the Thai stall. I wanted to order the traditional Phat Thai and at the same time wanted to practice my Thai speaking. I asked her if she speaks thai and she said Chan pood pasa Thai kaa which was really cute! I love the way girls speaks in Thai! Its such a petite language. So I told her Phom yak lean pood pasa thai and she smiled. When the order was done, I asked her "Tao rai" --> How much, and she broke into another huge smile. "See rhean" was her answer. That meant $4. I paid for it and told her "khob khun khrup" which meant Thank you. Oh yea the food was good. The next time round, I'm going to order the glass noodle salad "young moon sen".

After the food, bathing and all I went online again. Time to continue learning how to speak thai. This is my third day learning the language and things are going really well I must say. I can start and hold a conversation as well as answer question now. After today, there is 48 more days to go. Jia you! Spoke to Daniel today, asked him if he wants to chill and shoot some hoops. He said to meet at 6.30 p.m.

Alas! It was raining. We didnt have much to do so we went to a resting shelter below the block. We spoke about school and his younger sister. To be honest Im worried about the sister. She seemed like a really nice person and yet from what I heard from Daniel, she seems to be giving a lot of trouble to her parents (My Gan Ma!). I hope she gets better.

Of course, I also wanted to speak to Daniel about my recent break-up. He is the best pal in the whole world to me. I asked him how he dealt with the break-up he experienced 2 years ago with this totally awesome, match made in heaven girlfriend. He told me he has never got over her and that he just started asking her out again yesterday. -_-' I got plenty of inspiration and thoughts from my conversation with him. His advice for me is to let the relationship go for now. He says that as long as I feel that she is the girl and that I know what I want and that if I find that I still cant get over her because she is the best girl that I have ever known, Date her again in a while. She needs some time alone for herselves and the very least I should do is that. I felt thats good advice. I prayed yesterday that God gives me the courage to carry on and God send me an angel today. =)

He also told me he has learned to bike and has a phantom of his own. I asked him to bring me to the salvation Army in Hillview because I remembered that there is a drum set there for free for the public to play and I wanted to pick up drumming. He did. We then went to play pool and I lost to him 5-1 in a race to 5 game. He has picked up his games by ten notches and Im simply no match for him. We then went to buy drumsticks and I got a pair for $13 dollar.

I am going to give myself 3 months --> 92 days to learn drumming. On top of the 48 days left to pick up thai. And I am going to find a job as well as to train up my body to reach my big goals. The Goal actually. Have to keep myself busy right?

Thats it. Wait for my updates tomorrow. =)

Day 3: I'll soldier on! Mai mee pan Ha!

Woke up at noon today. Decided to work out at 6.30 and asked mom to prepare dinner at 4.30p.m to 5p.m. Probably going to play Basketball with the other guys downstairs and come home at 10p.m. What do I do in my meantime? Work towards The Goals of course!

Decided to get my Cirriculum Vitae done and improved. It is now updated with the results from my past six semesters and under the achievement section, I added "made it to the Academic Roll of Honours for AY07/08 semester 2". This will be sent to any prospective employer. I hope to start earning some money and carry on my plans for the future.

As I worked towards these goals, I remember another small target I set myself yesterday. That is to master speaking in Thai in 51 days. From tomorrow onwards, I will only be left with 49. I believe I can achieve my targets. Yesterday I could not even hold a conversation in Thai with those people I met in the chatroom, I think it got better today. Lets see weather I can recap what I have learnt...

Khrup/Kaa --> Polite word for guys/girls.
Sawadee --> Greetings
Ter pen yang rai bang? --> How are you?
Khun sa bai dee rue? --> How are you?
Phom sa bai dee Khrup. --> Im good.
Khob khun Khrup --> Thank you.
Phom ma chrag patae Singapore Khrup --> Im from Singapore
Khun ma jak nai? --> Where are you from?
Khun cheu arai? --> Whats your name?
Phome cheu Chee Han Khrup --> My name is Chee Han
Khun kam lung tam arai yhu? --> What are you doing now?
Ter kin khao lur yang? --> Have you eaten?
Phom kin laew --> I have eaten.
Phom Kid mai ork --> I have no idea.
Phom pai dern len --> Im going for a walk.
Mai mee pan ha --> No problem.
Mee pan ha arai? --> What is your problem?
Hed pon --> Reason
Jai yen yen --> Relax
Mai ben rai --> Your welcome
Khun pood pasa ang grit dai mai? --> Do you speak english?
Kor tod --> Could mean: Excuse me or Sorry.
Hong naam --> Toilet
Yu ti nai --> Where?
Yu ti nee --> Here.
Khun suei mak Khrup --> Your very beautiful
Ter suei Jing Jing --> Your very beautiful
Khun lorr mak Kaa --> Your very handsome
Khun Narak mak Khrup --> Your very cute
Khun tam ngan arai? --> What is your job?
Kroo --> Teacher
Khun ar you tao rai Khrup? --> How old are you?
Ar sai --> Live
Khun pen sot reu-plau --> Are you single?
Sot --> Single
Khun me faen reu yang? --> Do you have a girlfriend?
Khun yak pai tiaw gab phom mai? --> Would you like to go out with me?
Pen faen gab phom mai? --> Would you be my girlfriend?
Kuen nee --> Tonight
Khun wang mai Khrup? --> Are you free?
Kuen nee jer-gan dai mai? --> Can I see you tonight?
Sexy --> Sek-see
Tao rai --> How much?
Ja jer-gan dee mong dee --> What time would you like to meet?
nHuay --> Tired
Young mai set --> Have to go on working a little
Tang ngan --> Marry
Tam ngan --> Work
Yang --> Yet
Non --> Sleep
Lub --> Sleep
Fun dee --> Dreams
waan --> Sweet
Lub fun dee --> Sweet dreams
Ra tee sa wad --> Good night
Klang wan --> Day
Klang kuen --> Night
Kuen nee --> Tonight
Wan nee --> Today
Ja --> Going to or will
Krung Thep --> Bangkok
Ja pai yang? --> Shall we go yet?
Wan jan --> Monday
Wan ang karn --> Tuesday
Wan put --> Wednesday
Wan pa rue hat --> Thursday
Wan suk --> Friday
Wan sao --> Saturday
Wan ar tit--> Sunday
Soon --> 0
Neng --> 1
Song --> 2
Sam --> 3
See --> 4
Ha --> 5
Hock --> 6
Jet --> 7
Phat --> 8
Kao --> 9
Sip --> 10
Sip ed --> 11
Sip song --> 12
Yee sip --> 20
Yee sip ed --> 21
Yee sip song --> 22
Yee sip sam --> 23
Sam sip ed --> 31
See sip ed --> 41
Ha sip ed --> 51
Neng roi --> 100
Song roi --> 200
Neng pan --> 1000
Jep --> Hurt
Chob --> Like
Duang ta --> Eye balls
Phom chob duang ta kong khun --> I like your eyes
Set laew --> Finish or done
La gon --> Goodbye
Mak mak --> So much
Pam yak lean pood pasa thai --> I want to learn to speak thai
Wang wa khun mai yang? --> I hope you are not too busy.
Mai --> No
Not --> Mai chai
Bang --> Ending word for (yang rai) --> How?
Phom kit theung ter --> I missed you

Hmmm.... my compilation so far. If I master all these I should be able to have a decent chat with a stranger. Besides learning thai and finishing up my Cirriculum vitae, I also wanted to work out in the evening so I had a 4.30p.m dinner. Tonight work-out was one of the best I ever had so far. I cant be stopped. Whenever I wanted the ball in the basket, the ball gets in the basket. It felt good to play well. The experience of having shots go in one after another was unbelievable. The weight and responsibility of getting points for the team rested on my shoulders and the responsibilities felt good.

Came back home, had a little snack of fish soup, typed this Blog entry. I think Im done for the day. God please bless me. Give me the courage to carry on with life.

Day 2: Life moves On

I awoke at 9 a.m today to the gentel cold breeze of the Morning. I told myself I am going to work out and accompanied my mother to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve to have a hike along it's forest paths so we (the whole family) can have some exercise. We dragged my brother along too! Kudos! Armed with both water bottles and towels, we took her van to the destination. It was a huge place and we purposely choose a long track. We experienced up-slopes of up to 250 continous steps and steepy, dangerous down-slopes. It was a good workout. The air in the forest was brisk and refreshing, it filled our lungs with all the goodness and renewed vigor.

Occasionally as we walked along the path, we came across clearings that overlooked the whole of Bukit Timah Nature Reserves and the civilisation beyond and it was a breathtaking sight that filled my heart with awe. This sorts of natural views gave me the courage to let go and move on with the relationship I have with WGLP.

Now, its was not an easy walk but when it was over, the experience was well worthit. Tired but it doesn't matter. It was fulfilling. You know how you get the feeling that after you have done a certain feat, you realise that the possibilities to go on to achieve greater things are achievable? That was how I felt. After the hike we proceed over to the Bukit Timah Market where there are rows and rows of endless foodstalls and varieties for us to choose. We bought 3 plates of Wanton mee, 3 plates of Dou hua and shared a plate of white Chai tou Kway. When we reached home, it was already 12.30 p.m.

After bathing, I came online. This was when I saw that WGLP MSN nickname had a (Ter Kit Theung Chan mai?) in it. Ter = You, Kit Theung = Miss, Chan = me, mai is usually used as a ending word for a question. I replied her "Yes, Phom Kit Theung Ter" meaning Yes, I miss you. I think because of that, She changed nickname... *Im such a loser! Her nickname in MSN changed to "Jer pai Krung Thep, Jer pai Kab chan mai?". Ja/Jer = going to, pai = go, Krung Thep = Bangkok, Kab = with, Chan = me, mai... well it is already written on top. Meaning she is going to Bangkok, anyone wants to go with her? I replied yes, I would love to. Then she said it is unconfirmed yet as everyone was busy. We didnt speak again after that.

Well you can imagine I was very free at that time. Still there are things to settle and The Goals to meet so I might as well spend my time well. I decided to research my way to a good Resume and Cirriculum Vitae as I needed to get a job to pass my time. In the meantime, I decided to also find a Thai friend with which to pick up the Thai language and I found a forum with a chatroom and many pleasant Thai citizens and expat with whom to chat with. This is the link.
http://english-thai-dictionary.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=e913710558c18a0dbfb66ec338bcbf22&action=pfchat

Through the grace of god, I met a person who goes by the name of Oil. Immediately, Oil became my Shi Fu in my quest to yak lean pood pasa Thai. yak = want to, lean = learn, pood = speak, pasa thai = Thai language. We spoke online through MSN and I struggled to maintain a conversation in Thai. Oil was very patient and whenever I could not continue a conversation, I will ask what would the next sentence be spoken like in thai and give a english word. These happen during the entire conversation and still, Oil would translate it for me. If I keep this up, I think I will be able to speak really good given a few weeks. I am glad I have a friend like Oil. I can't help but think back to WGLP. She have this friend whom she has told me knew in her previous school who also goes by the name of Oil. I seriously wonder if it is the same person, because the Oil I knew is in Thailand and she is in Krung Thep. Maybe WGLP want to contact Oil and confirm this? Hmmm....

Anyway... Last week (the day she wanted to separate), I joined my family for dinner, we decided to exercise the next week. Hence we went to the community center and decided to book the badminton hall for a Badminton session. I think its a good thing to once again be able to spend quality time with family doing things like playing Badminton instead of locking myself in my room and enjoying the air-conditioning all the time. The session will be on this Sunday from 4 p.m to 5 p.m.

I guess there was a message from God to me all these while. When you have lost something, you see the problems in all the others. I saw the problem in my whole life. I have finally got the hidden messages.

"Do your best and God will do the rest" - Wu Gui Lao po

Day 1: Faced with Reality

The breakup was yesterday but the impact never came till the clock stroked 12a.m. I sat at my sorry a$$ at computer desk in the living room, hard disk plugged into the CPU, scrolling through pictures after pictures of WGLP and me. I cant help but reminisce about the times we had spent with each other, good and bad for the past 3 years together. The idyllic tune of the song "Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)" by Craig David was playing in the background. Listening to the words of the songs, following the lyrics, my heart began to disintegrate and scatter like sand to wind. I have never heard a song so perfectly describing the separation that I have just experienced.

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me Kompletely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Granted. I knew you wanted to spend more time with your friends. I knew you had a stressful week with your final exams and I knew you have been busy with your work. I was selfish and uncompromising and that was wrong.

Comeing back to Bukit Panjang after my brother spoke some sense to me and clear my mind, Babygirl I knew what a terrible mistake I made.

Had dinner with her tonight. We didnt speak much it seems like there was nothing for us to say to each other anymore. But does she know that the silence we had was sweet silence? I don't care weather we are talking or not. As long as I can still see her, I'm happy.

"The quickest way to receive love is to give; The fastest way to lose love is if you hold it too tightly; And the best way to keep love is to give it wings. " - Anonymous